It also does not mean throw your weight around and bark out orders.
But I would honestly love to hear from any of the women out here as to whether or not they would have respect for a man who allowed a wandering female spouse to do whatever they chose to do and just accepted it.
To me man up means to be honest about who you are and what you think is appropriate from a spouse.
And yes, sometimes that means boundaries. But as J3B is quick to remind us, boundaries mean nothing unless we are ready and willing to enforce them. And that means consequences.
Consequences are not punishments.
We are not dealing with children here.
Our spouse, regardless of their wacked out emotional condition, knows dog goned well what is right and what is not. They might have become like an alien, but they have not left the planet. They know full well when they are crossing lines.
It's my belief that reasonably applied and enforced boundaries for behavior, with consequences that are for OUR protection and care, are not things that close the door or seal the deal for our wives.
And if you are a man who is tolerating a cheating, cake eating spouse, and encouraging that behavior by condoning it implicitly through your neediness, I think you're much more likely to be treading down the path of "sealing the deal."
A woman who does not respect you is not going to want to return to you.
There is room for manning up. In fact there is a strong need for it with some of the guys who come to this board. We just need to be good about making it clear just what that means and doesn't mean.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
