Hopping over to piecing & short intro

[smokry]

1. Go away for a few days, and do me things

Funny you should mention that! My 18D asked me the other day if we could have a "girls" weekend and go spend a long weekend at the beach. It would be me, her, 15D and a couple of their friends. I thought it was a great idea and mentioned it to H. Of course he threw a fit and said we should ALL be able to go and what was he and 11D and 9S supposed to do? Then he brought up that I would be down there doing "god knows what with only god knows who!"...and then made the usual implications about OM. Grrr...

2. I believe H is an alcoholic , he needs to go to AA, or you go to alnon meeting to find out what you can do. One test see if he can go one week without alcohol.

We talked about it the other day and I told him he should stop drinking for a while...He said he didn't want to but could if he wanted to. Says he enjoys it...He has gone a week before without drinking, though those weeks are few and far between. Perhaps there are "levels" of alcoholism...I don't know much about it. I say that because I KNOW my brother is an alcoholic. He starts drinking as soon as he gets up in the morning to get going and drinks all day. On the weekends he drinks until he gets drunk and passes out. He has lost two jobs because he drinks on the job and has gotten 2 DUI's and lost his drivers license. My H is nothing like that but still I think he drinks too much too!

Do you smoke and drink also?

I absolutely DETEST smoke!! I can't stand to be around smokers unless they are outside. H is not allowed and never has been allowed to smoke in the house. 18D had asthma really bad when she was younger which prompted the outside only smoking rule...but I wouldn't have tolerated it in the house even without that. Up until two weeks ago- i was a weekend drinker... beverages on Friday night and Saturdays...but nothing during the week. I decided it was hindering my workout schedule so I quit two weeks ago. I workout 6 days a week and was finding I was skipping Saturdays and Sundays because I didn't feel good! Anyway- my workout buddy and I initially decided we would give it up for a month but then I had a revelation that if alcohol was stopping me from doing things that are important to me then it had no place in my life so I told her I was done for good! I told H that too and of course he doesn't believe me...Oh well, I guess he will figure it out.

We had an interesting conversation last night...actually it started out with the argument about me taking a long weekend without him but then we moved on to our finances again and I told him I was having a hard time figuring out how we were going to catch up on our past due house/land payments and I needed his help figuring it out. He got really mad (as ususal) and said he didn't know what else to tell me. Then he said (in a really loud voice) that he was NOT taking a second job. I had no idea what the hell he was talking about...then it hit me- he thought by me asking for his help in how to catch up I was insinuating that I wanted him to take a second job so we would have more money. So I said "NO dumb ass!" (yes I called him that!) I'm not telling you to take a second job I'm asking you to help me crunch some numbers because I can't figure it out!

He said- "oh" (duh) well I can probably do that- I'm pretty good at crunching numbers. (He does bids at work every day from residential homes to hotels and apt buildings).So he sat down and went through our budget and came up with the week that we would make the extra payments to catch up. Mind you my numbers were similar he just broke it down a little differently than I did. He even did it for next month too!

Now what does that say to me? That he is NOT a moron when it comes to money but that he CHOOSES not to be responsible. He also figured with only his base income (didn't include any bonuses or my income) and SAW that we should have money left over at the end of the month! I'm praying that he had some sort of revelation...Then he said- this isn't hard- maybe I should just take it all over and start paying the bills myself. (and I'm thinking "Whoa seabiscuit- let's not get ahead of ourselves here!")

So- I hang on for another day and wait and see what will happen this friday when he gets his check.

BTW- I AM going to the beach with my daughters and H will just have to deal with it. D18 has three horses that she is selling next weekend so she is going to use some of that money for the long weekend so it doesn't have to come out of our budget.

Thank you VERY MUCH for your input and suggestions...it's nice to know that I am not the only one who can see a problem here and that I'm really not crazy...(or am I? )

Have a great day!