My take on the counseling is it's the OW's idea, especially if she was single and a home wrecker. She doesn't want the same thing to happen to her, oh brother.
A good therapist would get to the heart of what happened and why. But these people all lie and they will lie to the therapist too so they are probably wasting their money and time. On the other hand, if they admit what they did in therapy, know it can't be forgiven without asking for forgiveness from all of those they have hurt, admit it was wrong but the damage cannot be repaired, and work really hard to make a new life that provides comfort for those they have hurt, there might be some hope for their relationship.
And if the therapist could provide skills that would help the children and mend the old family a bit that is something. But obviously something is wrong and while I hope all the X's and their OWs out there are in better shape because they have made appropriate retribution it's not likely. We just have to move on without that satisfaction and make our own lives anyway.
