MLC BS

[Patrick325]

I just found out My W wont be back for another week and a 1/2. That means she has left me with the kids for about 4 weeks out of the last 6. I love having the kids but it really worries me the way my wife is becoming an absentee mother lately. Again, this is not like her at all. I am really concerned that she is becoming a WOW and that she is trying to purposely have me take the kids away from her. She has been calling them but I just can't figure her out. She was never like this.

I had a dream about her last night and it made the day today pretty good. In the dream she came into the shower with me( the way she used to). She kind of suprised me but then she came over and hugged and kissed me. But she said something to the effect that we were not together...but she was kind of teasing me..but she seemed flirtatious. It was a sweet dream and I wish it would come true...

[Patrick325]

25 days till my D mediation....any ideas on what to do??

[Patrick325]

I was considering wearing my ring--I haven't worn it for a 4 months...I don't know if she knows I still want her back. I am wondering if I should have fought for her (with the OM) from the beginning. I just watched a movie with a similair sitch and I just wonder if I would jave fought for her she would know that I really cared....It's too late now I guess....

[Patrick325]

I was considering wearing my ring--I haven't worn it for a 4 months...I don't know if she knows I still want her back. I am wondering if I should have fought for her (with the OM) from the beginning. I just watched a movie with a similair sitch and I just wonder if I would jave fought for her she would know that I really cared....It's too late now I guess....

[Patrick325]

My W came back from her trip to Wisconsin. She was gone for 19 days. She came by to suprise the kids Sat morning. They were happy to see her but two of them still spent the day at the beach with me. My W hung around here for about 45 minutes. She sat down on the couch with me and the kids and seemed pretty comfortable. It was nice to see her and for all of us to be together. She started talking about "their" camping trip and I told her I'd rather not hear about it. So I left it at that but we parted on good terms...only 3 weeks till our mediation

[Jack_Three_Beans]

How are you holding up Patrick?

The ring is your choice. I wore mine when I was married and I took it off when I didn't feel married anymore.

Keep being a comfortable place for her, and avoid attacking the OM POS. : )

[Patrick325]

I don't feel married but I wish I did. I look at the indentation on my ring finger and hope that it doesn't go away before I can put it back on again. I guess the only reason I want to wear it is to show her my feelings about our marriage. But I don't know what her reaction would be==probably think I am pathetic. I just wish I could stop thinking about this every day...It has been over a year now since it all started..I can't believe I have made it this far...but it still feels like it will drag on forever...every spare moment trying to figure out why, or what I should have done or said...it's like a long drawn out torture....and I'm sure my kids are suffering too..

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Patrick,

looking back is fine to figure out what you can do to improve yourself, right? Like I drink too much, I should cut back, but your wasting time and kicking yourself in the nuts trying to figure out:

or what I should have done or said

Work on yourself yes! But do not worry about the nuances of how you got there, chances are...nothing you could have said differnetly or done much differently would have changed anything...and by the way...if you did manage to figure out the one thing that more than likely had nothing to do with your wife's MLC, you don't have a time machine to fix it anyway.

Wasting time. Get out of the house, spend time with kids plant a fake smile on and enjoy them and yourself until it is no longer fake.

[Patrick325]

I have been trying real hard...I started taking Karate, going to the beach with the kids. But I am constantly reminded of what I don't have. I know I sound like a broken record. I have been reading some stuff about changing thought patterns and ideas....but it only seems to help for a little while...when I see someone in a happy relationship or a family it creeps back on me. I just go on...

[Patrick325]

News of the weird...my wife asks me to go school shopping with her and the kids. It's probably a financial decision for her but still weird considering our current sitch. She asked me Thursday and I agreed without really thinking about it....It sank in and it got me kind of nervous...thinking maybe this could be an opportunity to reconnect..but then again I know that I don't want to read too much into the offer or the day of shopping.

We went today and it went pretty well. We got along very well, had a few laughs, and remenisced(sp.) a little. The experience could have been better because the kids were not cooperating and my W was a little aggravated with them. I tried to smooth it over which was a very familiar activity. It made me really think about what a lot of our time together was like. Many times I would be trying to calm her down when the kids got her aggravated.

It's funny, because many times I remember me trying to calm her down and the kids coming to me because she was being mean to them. Other times I would be the strict disciplinarian and she would think I was going overboard.

Back to the shopping....I tried to keep the peace and it was tough. But the two of us did get along pretty well. And she did not once mention "his" name, which was good. She did mention her trip to WI a couple of times but nothing too bothersome for me. Then, at the last stop we went to a store and she was looking into buying sheets and claimed she had tore her foot thru "their" sheets...sweet, hugh?

I tried to brush it off and I took her back and said good bye..I guess it was better than nothing but it really made me wonder if I wanted to get back together with her. It reminded me of some of the aggravating times we used to have. But another part of me say's I really care about her and she is my wife that i swore to stand by....It's like and can just see the future when this guy dumps her...and it hurts me to see her hurting...but maybe i'm wrong and they will have a lifelong relationship...It just muddles up my emotions even more....ugh!