Hopping over to piecing & short intro

[smokry]

Hi guys- I need some suggestions BEFORE I totally fly off the handle and make a big scene...which is VERY close to happening...

One of the goals H and I both stated we wanted for our M was to be financially stable. H is extremely irresponsible when it comes to money...so I pay all the bills. Trouble is I can't pay them if he doesn't give me the money. (We have already filed a personal and business bankruptcy)

We made a deal (based on what he TOLD me he was making each week) as to what he would deposit every Friday in our bank account.

Backing up a bit...he insists that our financial troubles are because I was not working after we closed down our business. This is a business that was making 150K a year...and we had to put it in bankruptcy because he spent it into the ground! (Actually I was doing tutoring after we closed it down)Then he said if I would just go back to teaching we would have enough money. So I taught in a private school for two years in a row...Anyone who teaches knows that private schools don't pay as much as public schools...anyway he bitched the whole 2 years that if I would just go to work for public school we could pay our bills. So last year I quit the private school and applied at the public school in our area. I substitute taught for them all year...sporadic until January then I finished out the year for a teacher who had to be out the rest of the year. Of course then, subbing wasn't making us enough money. I do have my application in for full time but right now there is nothing available for the upcoming year that I am certified to teach...so unless something opens up- I am going to be looking at going back to private school or subbing at this public school again until something full time comes open that I can take.

Anyways..back to the present...I told him that one of the actions I needed to see that we were trying to work on being financially stable was being met was if he would sit down with me and help me work up a budget. I've already done this- but I want him to see where all the money is going and that we SHOULD have enough to pay our bills. He agreed to do this with me...but the closer it came to actually sitting down to do it...he has been dragging his feet. The other day I asked him to bring me a paycheck stub so I would know exactly how much money we were working with. He got indignant and said no...that I would get the amount we agreed on and that was it. I let it go but then this afternoon I talked to him and told him I had everything out for us to sit down and work on our budget. I told him when he came in to bring in a couple of paycheck stubs...and once again he said no. I got mad and just told him to foget it and hung up on him. (Yes I know...I didn't DB very well!) When I got back from running I noticed that he had left a paycheck stub from June on the bar. Looking at the amount- it seemed pretty accurate to what he said he made...but then I noticed that it included a deduction for an advance. He had left in my car to go to town...so I decided to snoop in his truck (I know- not good DB either!) and rounded up all his paycheck stubs for the past 6 months. He has been lying to me in a BIG way about how much money he makes! He said he was keeping $100.00 a week for his personal spending...lunches, cigs, beer etc...Now- we've aleady argued that I think that is too much...BUT now from looking at his paycheck stubs I see that he has not only kept his 100.00 a week but anywhere from 100.00 to 350.00 a week MORE than the 100.00!!! I am so pissed!!!

We can't pay our freakin bills and he is lying about money just so he can have cash in his pocket! Then he's blaming it on me that it's MY fault that we don't have enough money because I need a BETTER job!!!

Other concerns...What the hell is he doing with 200 to 550 a WEEK in cash? Girlfriend? Drugs? Stashing it?

I can't even get him to fork over a 20 dollar bill when I ask for money!

Another concern- even with just what we agreed he would put in the bank we should be able to pay our bills and have some left over...But we still DON'T because he spends what he has and then starts screwing off what's in the bank.

And I've been feeling GUILTY because I haven't been applying at a million school districts because I wanted to stay in ours so I could teach where the kids would go to school. (We have homeschooled for 7 years & they were with me at the private school)

This is something that has ALMOST cost us our M before...and I just can't do it again...He refuses to go to any kind of counseling...financial or otherwise...

I'm open to suggestions because right now I just want to rip his head off...