I stopped updating my threads (linked in signature below) about a year ago when my W and I began meeting with a divorce mediator, but I have been posting here and there occasionally.
We have been separated for about 18 months now, and even though I have been DBing almost as perfectly as possible, she has not shown any signs at all that she might change her mind.
Even though we don't have children, we do have a 15 year-old Welsh Corgi who lives with me, and she misses him terribly, but her landlady (who lives on the first floor of her apartment building) does not allow dogs to even visit the apartment. We usually see each once a week at the same church we have been attending for almost 19 years, and I usually bring our dog along for the ride, and we share a dog walk after church.
The issue of children is very interesting. I always felt we would have children eventually, but we wanted to get an arts-related business going together first, and that never really got off the ground. Whenever we talked about having a child, she always said she did not feel ready yet. That was o.k. with me because I felt the same way. Her parents had been putting out major grandchildren hints and nudges for years and years, and were disappointed that they still did not have grandchildren when all their friends did.
About 4 years ago, W's brother and SIL had a child. This was around the time we moved away from Boston (where they lived too.) When Parents-in-law visited, all family activities revolved around the new nephew/grandchild, and the sun rose and set on him.
I wonder if a major part of my W's MLC is feeling that she has not accomplished her professional goals, and that she is a disappointment to her parents for not providing a grandchild too?
I met an artist last summer who had been a WAW and she told me the only reason she went back to her marriage was because her children were showing major emotional damage after she left, and it was for their well-being that she returned. I saw their family at an art opening last Autumn and all appeared well in their marriage.
I realize that these forums are full of spouses with children, where the WAW or WAH does not care at all, but it sure seems that it is a lot easier for the walk-away-spouse to leave when they are only hurting their spouse.
LG
Me 46 WAW 45 M 21 yrs
WAW: "I need to be alone" 12/06 W moves out 3/07 Mediation finalized 08/08
