ok Poet, I am gonna say this again, but I wont repeat myself too many times here :
1. Stop calling him. 2. Stop cooking for him. 3. Stop making your ear available to him. 4. Stop babying him.
Take your damn dignity back and detach.
He asked you to call him back, and then he baited you into an argument, and then YOU ended up looking like the bad guy. He is unconsiously sabotaging your relationship to ease his guilt - stop taking the bait and stop letting him do that.
Any interaction you should have should leave him feeling MORE like reconciling than LESS, but that's not what is happening, and its him baiting you into the damage and YOU taking the bait. Stop it.
The list of activities you put there was mostly about your relationship, moving back home, etc. How on earth is cooking dinner for your husband getting a LIFE? Sorry I dont want to be mean here, but are you reading what you are writing? That get a life list is "move back closer to husband so I can pursue him more" list.
The only valid one in there was the swimming, the dog, and the movies...and movies are passive, GAL actions should be active to keep you moving and stimulated.
Sorry, but the rest of that is pursuit and you moving back into your home, which I do reccomend, but its not you getting a life.
I think you need to read the GAL section from DR again and then look atyour list and ask yourself if you are bieng totally honest here.
Hypnotist? No, you need DISTRACTIONS, and swimming is the only one you have offered yourself. And TWO WEEKS is NOT enough TIME to GAL, it should be done for several months before you look for a response from your spouse.
Let me get this right :
1. You move back into your home, hide your things there, spend most of your time doing and thinking about how your breathe and movement will affect your husband. 2. Then you call him up and criticize him for not recongizing all the wonderful changes in yoruself you have made over the last mere two weeks?
How many times have you gone swimming?
Stop babying that overgrown child and find some fun for yourself my dear, or you will completely drive him away.
You are throwing a pillow of panic over his face every move you make. Knock it off he's stressed enough as it is.
You want to make YOU a STRESS FREE FUN person to be around, you want to be something that EASES his stress, not aggravates it.
My guess is if he asked you to sleep with him right now you would give in to that too. YOU need to take your life back and show him you are be fun to be around and that HE is not the beginning and the end of your world. THAT will take a load off his mind.
I am sorry poet, and I applaud your moving back in. Its hard to do, and a little scary, but you just keep dodging his bullets.
Be casual, don't panic if he asks, just tell him what you have been saying, but DONT INSULT HIM. Your reply sounded a BIT insulting and we dont want to do that either.
Just say I am here when i want to be here and elsewhere when I want to be elsewhere. That's more or less what you have beeen saying so far, which is excellent.
Stop doing his laundry, stop cooking his meals, stop calling him, stop treating him like some big baby. If you treat him like a baby he will act like one. Treat him like an adult and he will act like one...eventually.
You are NOT detaching. You are pursuing and deluding yourself.
