This one's a thumbs up for me, I think, for not reacting.
I was just on the phone with my brother, and we were talking about H and the D. He was suggesting to me that I should definitely tell my atty. about the meds. and how they are messing me up and how I can't seem to make any decisions right now because I'm too stressed out. He wants me to find out if I can slow the D down that way. I'm going to have to ask.
Anyway, my point is... while on the phone with my brother, H called in, and my brother said, "Don't answer it," which I didn't, of course. My brother was also telling me how my nephew up and left his own wife and moved to the big apple and left her with a six-month old baby (how immature is HE)? Ugh.
Anyway, H didn't leave a message but then immediately called the home phone, and my brother told me not to answer it. His comment was, "Do you think this might be a life threatening situation or is he on his death bed and needs to tell you something?" Of course, I said no. "Then don't answer it, and pull the plug and take the phone off the hook." I didn't do that part.
But after I got off the phone with my brother, H called again on my cell and left a message. He sounded low (maybe even tearful, a little). I was concerned.
His message said, "Ya know, you call me and I do answer, S. I might get mad at ya, but I do answer every now and then. And I guess you're mad now. You say you're not going to call; for me to call you but then you don't answer. So, I, I don't know what to say, S. Goodbye."
Ok, so I felt his hurt and called him back. He did not answer this time. So, I left a message explaining I was on the phone with my brother, and if he wanted to talk that I'll be here.
He called back few minutes later. He was annoyed with me because I did not answer. I tried to explain to him that I was listening to my brother about my own nephew's troubles. He left his wife and baby of six months, and I guess I was sounding a little upset. H says, "You sound upset." I say, "Yes, it's upsetting." H says, "You don't have any reason to be upset, it's not you, etc., etc."
Jeesssh!
I'm really beginning to see how unscrewed his head is.... Gosh, is he made of wood?
Anyway, I tried to validate his feelings about that as best I could, saying it's my family and it is upsetting, and I will try to understand your way of thinking about it, blah, blah.
Then, I asked him if he got my message about the meatloaf. He said yes. I told him to take half of it, if he comes home tomorrow.
That was his cue. He immediately jumped on it.
H: Are you coming home tomorrow? Me: I don't know. H: Are you coming home evrey night now? Me: Ya know, you keep asking me the same questions over and over, and I keep giving you the same answer. I come home when I feel like it.
Then he got mad, and I blanked out the rest. He ended up hanging up on me. And NOW I know what Neil means by what he says when he says, "That's his anger, not yours. So, don't react."
