I think the last straw has to be when you know in your heart that your h is never coming back. If he is continuing an affair for years,you are living apart and have separate lives. It is not about the money really although for some it seems better to remain married if only on paper. It is a personal decision only you can make. For some it's when they can no longer put up with being second best in their spouse's life. It is when you know it is time to regain your self respect no matter how hard it will be both financially and emotionally. For some it is about letting your children know what is right and wrong,what being married means/should mean. It is when you know that you deserve better than being treated like ??? fill in the blanks. It is when you need more. Maybe you may want to date again or at least feel free to be able to do so.
I do not advocate divorce, but nor to I advocate false hope or living a lie because it is easier than standing on your own two feet. There are no winners in a divorce. You only get one life and it is not intended to be wasted. I have no idea of your "story" or thread but I would advise that you protect yourself financially. Good luck with your decision making.
