Hopping over to piecing & short intro

[smokry]

And when it comes down to it, it seems like your H can't handle the truth right now (it also seems like he's not entirely being honest himself...but that's another topic).

I agree about him not being able to handle the truth...Out of curiosity- what do you mean about him not being entirely honest with himself?

I might also suggest having him read "5 Love Languages," "Divorce Remedy," and "Eight Steps to Loving Kindness" (if he's amenable to doing so).

I plan to read them- The 5 Love Languages seems to come highy recommended by everyone...but unfortunately- he won't read ANYTHING! He thinks he doesn't read fast enough, doesn't like to read...blah,blah...so that's not an option. He will watch video tapes or listen to audio tapes maybe I can look into that.

From my position, perhaps your H simply needs to be educated...to come to understand where the breakdown in your R came from...to recognize that it was as much him as it was you...and to take responsibility for his portion.

That's part of our problem...he at this point doesn't see that he had anything to do with our problems- especially the A. He feels like the A is THE problem...and doesn't see that it was a symptom of the problem!

Maybe you could just suggest to him that you think it's not a good idea to discuss the A (yours or his) until you've both educated yourselves?

Interestingly enough...he doesn't feel that what he had was an A. He says- even if he did sleep with her (which then he says he didn't)that a one night stand is better than a 5 month relationship. Of course...he doesn't seem to remember that he liked her well enough to strike up an EA with her and exchange phone numbers, etc..and then go to her house one night (as far as I know it was only one night)but that is not an A! How do you reason with that?

Thanks for your input!