Jeff- Thanks for checking in on me. I'm always keeping an eye on you, too. Yep, I remember your advice about making new memories, and that is what we are trying to do. I am finally ready to put my effort into it. Dream world is very hard to leave and becomes what seems like reality. It is taking all I have to continue to focus on what I want and how to get there. I am reading, praying, and going to retrouvaille and it is what is helping me get there. Prayer, as you already know, will help you through your hard time, too. Hugs to you, Jeff.
Sandi- The hangover WAS worth it, and both my H and I said it was worth missing the first post session. We haven't had fun together in literally YEARS. Funny how you talked about how you did "wild" things in your relationship with your H in the past. I feel like, for some reason, I don't do those kinds of things with my H. But, I always did with the OM. I view my H as this very good man, not as "open", uptight, and reserved. He views me as that way, too, so it is hard for me to be a different way toward him. I'm learning at Retrouvaille that it is a "mask" I wear. I need to learn to take off my mask for my H so he can see the real me.
Sara- Thanks for answering my post session question. We came back from camping early so as not to miss the post session yesterday. It was ok. Didn't learn anything new or helpful this time. We were told that the last session was much better. Oh well, we have 4-5 more I believe, and at 4 hours each, we should continue to learn and progress.
This2shallpasss- Thank you. My perspective and feelings toward my H are going in the right direction. We have a LOT of work to do, and it is not an easy task that changes over night. He has been VERY patient and actually, so have I with him. I will try to check in on your situation as soon as I can.
Update: We went camping for a week up north where the weather was very nice. We only had one morning of rain. We went on long bike rides, ski show, campfires, beach trips, camp food, fishing, shopping, etc. We did lots of things together and had some really good family time. I wore my bikini often and got some admiring glances from H so that made me feel good. H and I talked together often and had some nice moments where we smiled together. I have to admit that there were some depressing times as well. I just kept thinking how far away we are from where I want us to be, and I couldn't help but think of OM and how we would have been. It got me in some depressed times, but I really tried to "snap out of them" sooner than usual. I also know that we need to get back to our retrouvaille tools and keep plugging away. It is very important we keep working and not just let things slide or we will head down the wrong path again. So, that's my camping trip in a nutshell. We came home early to go to our post session and doing that felt nice. He is off this week for vacation. We plan on getting some house stuff done, but also enjoying each other and our family as well.
