Quote: My advice is to come clean. If he knew nothing about it, I'd suggest not telling him. But it sounds like he knows in his gut that you did sleep with him, and it will continue to knaw away at him.
But I'm afraid if I confirm it- it will continue to knaw away at him even more!
Quote: You need to stress several things. 1. It wasn't about the sex, it was about the support you were getting from the OG. 2. You take responsibility for it, know you were wrong, and are extremely sorry that it happened (you'll need to say this often over the course of the next days and weeks). 3. You no longer have ANY interest in that guy, or any OG. 4. You want to work on your M, and want it to work out with him.
I've told him all of that a million times over the last year- all except the sex part and he still doesn't/can't/won't try and work past it.
Quote: His ego is going to be hurt. It would be very helpful if you told him that the sex wasn't that great and that sex with him is better.
Actually, it is much better with my H...and I do mean MUCH better. The only problem is I can't tell him that without admitting I had sex w/ the OG! Hmmmm...what to do what to do! Actually, this is the first time I have actually admitted it to anyone (& here I am telling a whole bunch of people I don't even know!)My best girlfriend doesn't even know. She thinks it's like Itold H- that it was an EA with a little bit of physical stuff but that we didn't have sex. I am also worried about telling H because he was awful when the affair came out and talked trash about me ALL over town. (Didn't matter what he had done)It was horrible- all the gossip and such and I'm afraid that if I tell him...then he will go back and make the BIG announcement to everyone that he was right after all.This is NOT something I am proud of and it's bad enough that people know anything at all about our private life...I guess if I could trust him to keep it between us then I might be more likely to tell him. Thanks for the input- I'll keep ya posted!
Sandra
Never argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience...
Actually, this is the first time I have actually admitted it to anyone (& here I am telling a whole bunch of people I don't even know!)My best girlfriend doesn't even know. She thinks it's like Itold H- that it was an EA with a little bit of physical stuff but that we didn't have sex. I am also worried about telling H because he was awful when the affair came out and talked trash about me ALL over town. (Didn't matter what he had done)It was horrible- all the gossip and such and I'm afraid that if I tell him...then he will go back and make the BIG announcement to everyone that he was right after all.This is NOT something I am proud of and it's bad enough that people know anything at all about our private life...I guess if I could trust him to keep it between us then I might be more likely to tell him. Thanks for the input- I'll keep ya posted!