ok Buster, ask yourself if and how "she's too ashamed to show her face" is helping you.
People are reaching out to you and you just show some sarcastic comment like that?
1. Its immature 2. It drives people away from you 3. It does NOT invite them to help you in any way. 4. It might get back to her and push her further away.
You need to understand that detachment, the act of creating physical and emotional distance between you two, is NOT the same thing as ATTACKING them or their reputation.
It just means the warm and fuzzy train is not making any stops here anymore, it does NOT mean we are packing our hunting rifle and will kill you on sight.
Good call on leaving your son with her parents. Whomever you can find to sit in for you is best. You should find this less stressful than having to face her. Make sure her parents aren't being nice to her either if you can. I know they may not cooperate. I think your parents would be the best sit in, she will be more likely to get the cold shoulder from them than her own.
Keep ignoring her messages. Unless its an emergency for your son like he suddenly turned purple and needs to go to ER, IGNORE her.
If you can find someone to pass along the idea that
"Your husband caught you sleeping with another man in his own bed...what on earth do you think he feels like?"
this would be great. I think she knows, it would have been BETTER if you did this RIGHT AWAY, but you didn't want to detach so now she's a bit confused. My guess is she'll figure it out.
It would help if someone could put some thoughts into her head about how you feel, but I know its hard to find someone to support you well in these cases, I have the same problem.
Why is it when your partner starts having an affair all your friends suddenly become disinterested casual acquaintances?
No clue. About 14 years ago a friend of mine who was married (23 or so) was having an affair. He confided to me about it, said he felt like crap, but could'nt stop. I told him to drop his affair partner and go work with his wife, that he had a daughter who loves him. What on earth do you do when your kids get old enough to understand the mess you made of their life? I asked him that. he said he didn't want to have to explain this mess to his daughter and went back to his wife.
I think its rare to find someone to offer that insight, most people just want to wash their hands of the mess. I know, and you have my sympathies there. If you CAN find someone, then do so, it will help a lot.
