Hi Sandra,
I'm an old timer who just comes around once in a blue moon but I wanted to tell you that my H and I have gotten to the other side of soooo much trouble and pain. It ain't perfect, of course, but I am a much better person from working through all this and believe that he is too. There is so much hope! These folks in this peacing (as some of us like to call it) section will realy help you.
My H and I are doing well. It has been very hard to get here and it has taken a long time, 4 years. In looking back at the big picture we've had a pretty steady improvement but of course it didn't look like that day to day. You are going to need a tremendous amount of patience but I bet that if you muster it up, you will believe that it's worth it in the end.
I firmly believe that you should come clean unless you truly believe he will become violent. My H and I have grown so much closer but even now though I don't bring it up, it still helps, after 4 years, to hear an "I'm sorry". I feel very loving and thankful now when he says that (I felt angry for a long time). Now we only get in talks where that comes up extrememly rarely.
