dropped our son off at the in laws...W was going there anyway... Saved myself the trouble of having to see her. Of course she texted and said she didn't understand the sudden change. No replies for her though :-)
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
ok Buster, ask yourself if and how "she's too ashamed to show her face" is helping you.
People are reaching out to you and you just show some sarcastic comment like that?
1. Its immature 2. It drives people away from you 3. It does NOT invite them to help you in any way. 4. It might get back to her and push her further away.
You need to understand that detachment, the act of creating physical and emotional distance between you two, is NOT the same thing as ATTACKING them or their reputation.
It just means the warm and fuzzy train is not making any stops here anymore, it does NOT mean we are packing our hunting rifle and will kill you on sight.
Good call on leaving your son with her parents. Whomever you can find to sit in for you is best. You should find this less stressful than having to face her. Make sure her parents aren't being nice to her either if you can. I know they may not cooperate. I think your parents would be the best sit in, she will be more likely to get the cold shoulder from them than her own.
Keep ignoring her messages. Unless its an emergency for your son like he suddenly turned purple and needs to go to ER, IGNORE her.
If you can find someone to pass along the idea that
"Your husband caught you sleeping with another man in his own bed...what on earth do you think he feels like?"
this would be great. I think she knows, it would have been BETTER if you did this RIGHT AWAY, but you didn't want to detach so now she's a bit confused. My guess is she'll figure it out.
It would help if someone could put some thoughts into her head about how you feel, but I know its hard to find someone to support you well in these cases, I have the same problem.
Why is it when your partner starts having an affair all your friends suddenly become disinterested casual acquaintances?
No clue. About 14 years ago a friend of mine who was married (23 or so) was having an affair. He confided to me about it, said he felt like crap, but could'nt stop. I told him to drop his affair partner and go work with his wife, that he had a daughter who loves him. What on earth do you do when your kids get old enough to understand the mess you made of their life? I asked him that. he said he didn't want to have to explain this mess to his daughter and went back to his wife.
I think its rare to find someone to offer that insight, most people just want to wash their hands of the mess. I know, and you have my sympathies there. If you CAN find someone, then do so, it will help a lot.
True true....luckily I only told it to one person at mass (a mother of 4 teenagers whose father just up and left). She won't repeat what I said though, but lesson learned. She just called me. Didn't answer. Talked to her parents before she got there. Printed out that article you gave me and told them and her sister to read it. They gave me the same [censored] when I left - hugging me saying they loved me, they were sorry, she is stubborn yadda yadda
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
i should give her family SOME credit, they listen to me when I need to vent or explain what's going on.....they honestly love me, not just because i'm there son in law either. its just a shame that they're in the 40's and 50's, i'm 27, and I am giving them advice about how their daughter is addicted and they're just giving her the bottle by not saying anything.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
You got it exactly. When NO ONE SPEAKS up against her she just hears everyone telling her to keep going. The problem is people think that their silence says nothing :
SILENCE IS THE LOUDEST NOISE in the WORLD
Their silence is sending the the green light, and they need to hear that point.
In particular the pastor is misbehaving by remaining silent, everyone looks to him for guidance, and if the only thing he is offering them is silenc,e that's all anyone else is going to offer.
Sorry Buster, that last post likley didn't help at all, it just confirmed what you had already said, i guess it help sa bit but not much.
EDITED – ADVERTISING is NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
----------------------------------- EDITED – copyrighted. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
