Trixi trying to find moorage

[Trixi]

More tidbits..but they are probably red herrings.

Very busy day yesterday- but here are the interesting parts-

1-he's afraid that if I move back in/we reconcile fully, he'll get bored. I laughed and said "yeah. and next week you'll say that you're afraid that I will keep you so busy that you never get any time to rest and have a break." he laughed and said "yeah. you just can't win with me. I'm crazy making." more laughing. I say "Truly you ARE crazy making. First you're afraid I'll be a bump on a log; then you're araid I'll play out all our weekends! Sheesh!" H "Well, you've done such a 180, I wonder if that's what will happen."

2-I asked him who did he think would take care of him if he ever got gravely ill, and he said "you. I hate you for that." Half joking of course.

3-Clarified "I don't hate you at all. I love you." Me "I know. But it sounds like it makes you angry that I would be the one who would care for you" and he said "Yeah, because you are so good and I am such a jerk. I don't like feeling like a jerk." Me "That's easy to remedy."

4-Asked "do you ever wonder what the hell you are doing?" Him "All the time."

5-Told him he is living on borrowed time, because this situation will not work for me in the long term and the time is coming where he will need to step up to the plate and actually play in the game.

He asked what difference {positive aspects} it would make if we lived together. I said going to bed, waking up together. Sharing our daily lives. Actually, really truly partnering up. I said that *for me*, I am not interested in a casual relationship. He says "We do not have anything casual. Our relationship is far from casual and very special." I say "yes, i know, but you aren't in the game.....I doubt you will look back on your life and regret actually stepping up to the plate and actually playing." He said (sort of resigned)"yeah, I know."

6-He mentioned the boredom fear again and I said "It's all in your head. Just because you're with the same person doesn't mean you have to get bored. You seem to always be looking outside of yourself to 'feel' something; for something else to 'make' you feel not bored/happy/whatever. As long as you search for that outside of yourself, you will never, ever be happy and you'll always be reaching for something you can't get. Making sure you aren't bored is within you control and resting firmly between both of your ears." He made a 'ding' sound with his finger in the air and said "wow. That makes a lot of sense. hmmm.."

After that point he sort of went 'into' himself. We had to get seats for the movie (Journey to the center of the Earth, 3D- that was fun) so there was no more talk. Like I said- he got really quiet and introspective looking, so I thought I had probably said enough.

Any other good thoughts on how to address the boredom objection? Is he telling me something I'm not hearing?