All of those true markers of commitment from her, have beeen thrown out the window. Sacrifices come from both sides, not just yours. You have worked so hard to get to where you were as a person and I don't want that to go away because of this change on her part.
Kat, I am really not sure why me deciding not to move means her commitment is thrown out the window, how this jeopardizes the progress I have made in myself, or how this is any change on her part.
Originally Posted By: Gypsy
The question wasn't about the future with your wife. What struck me was that you didn't feel comfortable sharing that information for fear of 2x4's? It seemed like 'hiding' because of fear of disapproval is creeping back into your thought process. My concern was that it would slowly manifest itself in your marriage.
Gypsy, it wasn't a matter of discomfort, fear, or hiding. In light of our significant progress, the move seemed insignificant. While I expected a certain reaction from some people, I didn't "fear" talking about it. It just didn't seem to be the most important thing to talk about at the moment.
Nobody is more surprised at the recent turn of events than myself. I was fully prepared and expecting to be single right now. I take nothing for granted at this point, but at the same time I am so happy and grateful for the progress we have made so far. I understand the concern, but I really don't see it as a backslide and I am far from being fearful about the sharing the decisions I have made in trying to continue to move things forward.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I am not out to upset you or make you mad at me. I just say proceed with caution. She gave up OM and that is WONDERFUL but she would have needed to do that regardless. Just a week or so ago you said you were still going to Allentown, now you are not. I am just trying to say all those things I mentioned would have shown a strong commitment from her that she was going because of you, she was willing to see what was important and follow through on it. Now you don't have those markers.
I won't discuss it anymore. If anyone deserves happiness it is you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'm not upset, or mad. Just trying to explain my about-face. I know it is abrupt, and I understand it it may be a foolish, impulsive decision. I appreciate your concern and I do take it seriously. And I don't mind discussing it - I'm tough. But just don't be too rough on me - I'm a little vulnerable, too.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
You aren't supposed to say it!lol You have some rough edges my friend.
I know you have this whole week planned and I hope you are both connecting even more. I just don't want to see you being the one doing all of the work. You are a special guy and I really don't want you to be hurt in any way. I am starting to sound like your big sis or something , so I will end it there for now. Hugs,
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You're a grown man with strong principles and great sense of values. You're both being given a second chance to fully give, connect with each other and deal with all the stresses that come with blending a family, being a couple.
I squawk, gawk, run around like Cassandra in Troy but it's all hypothetical based on the 'feel' I get. You're the one changing your life, renewing your marriage.
You know what worked, what didn't work, what upset the apple cart, what put it on automatic pilot. You go, G-Man!
I appreciate your concern and I do take it seriously. And I don't mind discussing it - I'm tough. But just don't be too rough on me - I'm a little vulnerable, too.
and chicks dig that!!!!!!!
atta a boy G..how long did it take us to learn that??
