Confused and Bewildered

[7 Year Itch]

Well, I was an idiot and was really pissed about his backslide yesterday. I'm ready for your 2X4's! LOL

Oh first, I need to clarify. I know it's easy to confuse everyone's sitch's. WE don't have an OW to deal with in ours. Thankfully that isn't in our equation.

OK, so I called him, and he didn't asnwer. I got annoyed even more because I know he is on that hour drive. So I call again like 20 minutes later. Still no answer. So I leave a message asking him to call.

So my phone rings at like 10:30. He says... hey, whats up. My phone didn't ring for some reason. I just got home, and saw you had called twice. So I said.......... forget it. I thought we could talk while you were driving home. Now you are home and I know you are tired. He says."no, tell me what's going on". So I say........"Chris, I know you are confused. But when one day you can ML to me, then the next day I can't even get a hug. It really makes me feel like crap. The last think you need is for your husband to make you feel cheap".

He just calmly and in an understanding way said. "I know. I'm sorry.".

Then I said."You know Chris, I will keep doing this if this is what it takes. But God this SUCKS! All I want to do is love and care about you. Is that so bad? CAn you open up just a little and let me care about you"

To which he said "ok". Again, I'm totally shocked because he's being open.

I said, "really, you think you can try to let me in just a little?"

And he said "OK, I can try".

So while I do need 2X4's and need to let this rest now, that was huge!

I started crying (the relief happy type of cry, as he's never remotely said he'd try anything), and I said "Thanks Chris, that means the world to me".

Then I told him good night, and I hoped he'd have a nice day. He may be coming out again tonight to see the girls if he's not too tired after his day of instruction. He's working some big OT this weekend, so he's not sure if he'll be too worn out or not.

I'm so looking forward to next weekend. I'm going out of town with 7 girl friends from Thurs-Sun. I need it. Juts a weekend away from this, the kids, everything. And I think it'll be good for him to be home (he's going to stay here with the kids while I'm gone) with the girls. He defintely doesn't say anything about missing me at all, but he really misses being here in our home and our town. HE said that they other night.

So anyway. OK, slap me now. But it was a backslide with good results I think??

Chris