Nice to hear from you. It's so great to have people on the board who have "survived the worst". Out of curiosity then, when did your H finally miss you? I see it was 2 months of physical separation. How much/how did you interact during this time? Did you let him initiate everything? Was it during this time that you had counseling?
It actually does help to hear that you've heard the same things. In my case I now feel like every problem in the marriage was my fault though, and I am honestly not sure that he'll ever feel calm around me again!
I am just assuming about his mom telling him to get a D, but he DID tell me she suggested he be on his own for awhile. They have this really weird relationship, and I think she would always choose his short-term happiness over anything else. On the positive side she's always liked me a lot, but I don't know if he is now spinning a different story--one that makes her now dislike me...
Anyway I can believe what you say about positive changes as a result of the bomb, but again logic and emotion are hard to marry sometimes and I am trying so hard to strike the balance between a degree of optimism--putting the positive energy out there and believing my efforts are worthwhile--and seriously considering what I may need to do for myself if things don't work out, e.g. do I use my bonus in October to pay on H's tuition or do I save it for myself realizing that I might need some of my own money soon...
Thanks as always for your support! I hope you're having a fantastic weekend!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
