Mishka-- Focus on what you were able to accomplish surrounding the impact on S13. She is NOTHING like you, I don't care what she went through in the past. How do I know? Because, even going through what she did, she has gone ahead and inflicted this misery on another human being. She is less than dirt. Let her live in that knowledge and guilt for the rest of her life.
Your h lied to her at the beginning of their R? And she decided to continue it, anyway? What do you think that holds for them? Lies upon lies.
I know that you feel humiliated. I have felt that way. But what do we have to be ashamed of? Trusting our Hs? Making human mistakes that we would have worked on, had things been communicated? Going onto this website and whatever other self-help steps you have taken to become a better person and try to save your marriage? We didn't "loose" these men by our negligence; they were cowards and slunk away.
You are so much more than that woman can ever hope to be. You have your INTEGRITY intact. You can look into the mirror and know that you did your best, and will strive to continue your own growth. You are aware.
You were with a H who was worth it, until he decided to change. What kind of person did she get? A lier and a cheater. Let her have him.
