Anyone here with a WAS and no children?

[MaxP]

Hiya Poet,

Thought I'd respond to you here, since this is probably where you first came across me!

Being 'different' sounds like a pretty weak excuse for getting a D if you ask me. What's all that about opposites attracting? I would hate to be similar to my spouse, after all it's the differences that make people so exciting. That should be celebrated, not rejected! (That is assuming the differences don't cross the dislike boundaries too much).

My W and I have very little reason to interact. After we separated, she actively enforced a period of no contact and was always very reluctant to agree to any meetings. Basically, her heart wasn't in it even before she dropped the bomb. I think for her, separation was as much about getting away as needing space. Once she was gone she could kill off the R from a distance (and start to live the life she had been fantasising about). I was left feeling very confused as to why there was no chance to save things. I felt I was given no explanation as to what had happened and why. The most I got was 'it doesn't feel right any more'. It has taken me a long time and a lot of reading to finally understand my role in the demise of our M. I wish I could turn back the clock and correct some of my mistakes.

It sounds to me like your H isn't being honest with his reasons. Whether he will open up to you or not, I don't know. I think people (particularly men) often harbour some kind of anger about something. The comment about trying to 'stay out of an argument' seems like a bit of an insight into how he feels.

Oh, in terms of sticking to their guns, my W is just like your H. No wavering at all, amazing really. I couldn't be like that, mind you, she always did accuse me of being indecisive.

Hope you're doing a little better. Anything new to report?

Max