Anxiously awaiting long term Patience!!

[JWS]

Things are going well, we are having lots of fun hanging out and she is still very talkative. I am feeling lots of stress, its so hard to see her with things going so well and still not be able to show her my love. I almost bit my tongue clean off twice because saying ILY seemed so natural, but i did not. I am so confused, she is so comfortable with me, how can she not what more, what is going on in her mind?? still no wedding ring

I am DBing like a champ and she is noticing, funny how patience is so much harder when things are good and it seems like it is unnecessary. Inside i am all mixed up, trying hard to suppress expectations while keeping hope alive, trying to block out desires of wanting her and thoughts of mistrust and anger all at the same time. crazy little world.

Even though i am mixed up, lots of baby steps. lots of "We" and "Us" and "our house" talk, and i suggested a few activities for the future and she seemed to like them instead of saying "well see or lets play it by ear" like before. she expressed a lot of remorse and regret about not going to that wedding a few weeks ago, she really felt she missed out!!

we are off to a BBQ with friends, and she is excited. plus the puppy is tons of fun to play with.