Love is Patient

[ba065]

H is gone...he moved some things last night and finished today. Said he may call later to come back for a chair and ottoman...he doesn't know.

I watched him throw all of his clothes in garbage bags...he took them all. Same with his toiletries. Asked me to go with him to help with the mattress and box springs....helped him make up the bed and put the cushions on all the patio furniture he took to put on the covered patio there (he moved in to our townhouse that we are trying to sell). Nice bachelor pad...no worries for him....I pay all the bills...so for him this will be like a vacation.

Money will stay the same for now...no changes there. His check will still be direct deposited into our account. I pay all the bills...he will only use his debit card for gas and lunches out...and now groceries. Supposedly there will be no major purchases.

I feel like it is over. He says it's just a trial...maybe he will call me to go for a bike ride or for coffee sometime...no expectations on either side. Says maybe he will decide he has made a mistake and be back in a few weeks...?? Like his feeling will be any different then than they are now? I don't think so.

I am truly an empty nester. S moved to IL after graduation and is working there. D moved back up to college last weekend and now H moved out. Here I sit in a 4000 sf house with 3 empty bedrooms (in a 5 bedroom house)...still need to finish painting the east side of the house and the master bathroom and get the damn place on the market. How I will accomplish this I don't know....I don't even want to.

I just want to crawl in a hole.

This has got to be the worst day of my life.

BA