A lot of my friends disagree with me, but that, to me, is the one thing I cannot abide -- exposing the children to the OP. Introducing the kids to someone you're romantically involved with is bad enough, especially before the D (!), but the very person that helped break up the family is beyond the pale.
In older days, a lady's brother(s)/male relations would drag the curr out into the street and publicly flog him for so disgracing their sister and their family.
It's so weird b/c I really had been feeling strong, confident, and all--and that has turned me into a teary, insecure pile of mush! And I'm thinking such negative thoughts of H and his lack of morals and the OW and her lack of morals. OW was telling D8 that she came to see them (H and D8) in the play they had been in December. Barf! And my D8 keeps talking about how nice she is!!!! Now I almost regret they are such sweet, loving kids, b/c they are being sweet and loving with her, too! Karen
karen: I'm thinking such negative thoughts of H and his lack of morals and the OW and her lack of morals. Now I almost regret they are such sweet, loving kids.
From your post I know your kids are probably sweet and nice to everyone, so are mine, they are so innocent, I'm going to (I know you will also) try to protect them from all the bad crap in this world as long as I can. They will grow up soon enough.
Lack of morals (I paused for a long time) Lack of morals, what type of people are these, what is this world comming to. someone has to stand up for what is right, do the right thing, fight for those who cannot fight for themselves, hold out a hand, help someone in need, lend comfort and just do the right thing.
My truck got ran into by a drunk driver last night, police were knocking at my door at 3:00am, did little to no damage to the truck (thank you God), but there was prior damage on my truck, on the same side, I told the police officer, that damage was already there. I know I will get yelled at by the W for not saying it was part of the damage. They lie, they cheat, they feel the deserve something for nothing. They take advantage of every situation if they can benefit from it no matter if its right or wrong.
You are a strong woman karen, thank you for being who you are, one of the good guys/gals
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
If I were to find out that GBG is introducing OM to the kids.... There would be hell to pay.
I have worried about this so much. She keeps telling me that he has never met them. Or that he will.
She better not test me on it. My mother asked me about that very thing last night. I told her that if I found out they met while separated, I would go for full custody.
H4H bear hug to you karen.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I told her that if I found out they met while separated, I would go for full custody.
H4H bear hug to you karen.
Thanks everyone! Yeah, I'm def. going to talk to my lawyer about this. I don't think it's a coincidence that my L is on vacation from August 1 for the whole month unfortunately and he decided to do this August 1st. I also plan to talk to my and the kids' therapist about this and tell her so she can hopefully help minimize any damage to the kids.
I am thinking I probably at this point, until/unless I hear differently from the C or the L, I don't really plan on talking to H about it. Doesn't he have to know that was clearly wrong and not good for the kids? I mean he's 42 years old, college-educated lawyer, church-going (calls himself Christian) so I just don't even understand that. I don't see the point in talking to him about it, b/c he has to know that would if nothing else be very upsetting to me. He picks up the kids for church tomorrow (ha-ha) and I plan to be gone or not around or whatever. I think I'm just planning on Extreme LRT right now, as much as I possibly can with the kids of course.
From your post I know your kids are probably sweet and nice to everyone, so are mine, they are so innocent, I'm going to (I know you will also) try to protect them from all the bad crap in this world as long as I can. They will grow up soon enough.
Yeah, they are sweet to everyone. S14 said he told me he knew that was dad's girlfriend and everything; that's gotta be hard for him to deal with. D8 just took it that she was just a friend of his, and not his girlfriend. Nice to lie to your kids about stuff like that. He's just such a horrible role model; I just pray that they won't become like him in any way!
Jeff, I think that was great you did that about the car. That was the right thing to do, and I wish more people were like that, too. You're obviously one of the good guys, too! Karen
I also plan to talk to my and the kids' therapist about this and tell her so she can hopefully help minimize any damage to the kids. Good!
Doesn't he have to know that was clearly wrong and not good for the kids? I mean he's 42 years old, college-educated lawyer, church-going (calls himself Christian) so I just don't even understand that. I don't see the point in talking to him about it, b/c he has to know that would if nothing else be very upsetting to me.
Somewhere in the back of his little pea brain, he knows this is wrong and that he is crossing the line, but he is also a DAFT and that cancels it out. Thinking with the little brain is just so damn counterproductive.
Originally Posted By: karen43
Quote:
From your post I know your kids are probably sweet and nice to everyone, so are mine, they are so innocent, I'm going to (I know you will also) try to protect them from all the bad crap in this world as long as I can. They will grow up soon enough.
Yeah, they are sweet to everyone. S14 said he told me he knew that was dad's girlfriend and everything; that's gotta be hard for him to deal with.
You must have very sweet, polite kids because if you didn't your DS would have said something to that HW (homewrecking whore...for the uneducated.) My heart aches for him, the knowing is the hardest part. DD probably doesn't know, but if OW is telling her she came and saw them in a play, she is going to start connecting the dots. Kids are much smarter than we think. ((Karen)) I'm so sorry. It probably wouldn't do a lot of good to try and talk to H about it, but I would definately talk to their C and the L. Take care of you. (((Hugs))) Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Doesn't he have to know that was clearly wrong and not good for the kids?
I know exactly where you are coming from Karen. I ask myself that question all the time! It is beyond me that a supposed Christian man can get so wrapped up in the A himself but also drag children into the mix. It is absolutely wrong. I made a mistake from the beginning of not pulling a temp order stating no exposure... Hindsight.. Since we are in the midst of the D, my attorney said just keep making the point that I am against it. Maybe at a minimum you tell him that - no threats just your view on exposing the kids.
Karen I am so sorry that you and your children are dealing with this. I am sure this will have some effect on your kids and I am glad that you are talking to the C about it.
My now XH is an ordained minister and has a degree in preaching. He knew better than to do all of this but he made the choice, just as your H has.
I think that was really low to do this on Aug 1, when your L is out of town...
Hang in there....you are a strong person.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Now I almost regret they are such sweet, loving kids, b/c they are being sweet and loving with her, too! 
Karen
Karen