Spew. Your H is feeling sorry for himself and he's trying to make you feel bad. YOU gave up a good thing? If it wasn't so sad, it'd be hilarious. He steadfastly refuses to see his part in this and accept any blame. Please let his words and opinions bounce off of you. Don't allow him to poison your life with them anymore.
It's gonna take time to adjust to being separated. Give yourself that time, but if talking to him makes it harder, limit your contact. Have you set up a visitation schedule? Have you seen a lawyer to make sure he's going to support D4? If you allow him to keep calling the shots and jerk you around now, you could end up with a sitch where he comes and goes as he pleases.. shows up at your new place... guilts you into letting him stay when he wants and then disappears again. Please don't allow him to set up a cycle like this now. I'm mentioning this because I allowed J to do this. I felt bad about being separated and he would come hang out when he wanted. It was worse than him living with us.. very very hard to set boundaries once it got going. Drop the rope sweetie... cut ties except where D4 is involved.
Huggggggs.. you can do it Sue. He still has a long way to go before it'd be safe to consider working on a M with him. Don't doubt that you've done the best thing for YOU and D4.. you have.
