BookPusher, Hey there, Havent seen your name pop up in a while, so I had to read up.
I am proud of the way you are standing up for your D.
It almost sounds like your H is being defensive about the Affair, trying to hide it or make it out to be less than it is. Its almost like they think in their minds that if they met this OW after they left you or only started hanging with the OW after their exit, then its not an affair or a type of abandonment. But sadly, it still is, they are still M'd to the LBS but put no effort into the R.
It sounds as though your H is definetely in his crisis deep. He seems so mean and childish in his e-mails. These are the same traits that I saw from my H a year ago - Thankfully he seems to have grown out of it now.
I think its best for you to continue doing as you do. Let him be the one to make first contacts. Dont let him put you or your D in any positions you dont want to be in.
I dont know how you have gotten this far along, and not filed for a D yourself yet. I hope you dont mind me saying that, but it just has to be so hard on you to not even have seen your H in over two years, and the amount of time at first that he wouldnt even respond or talk to you at all in the beginning. It blows me away how rude and mean your H seems to have been through out this. Make sure you are taking care of yourself.
Remember, that by sending articles on A's , MLC's, depression, ect... it will only make them more angry. I know you only did it for the sake of your D. But maybe it should be the C who says these things to him otherwise, you may end up making him run farther away from you or getting less amicable.
Please take care, I think I remember that you were a teacher (and so am I), so I hope you are enjoying your summer vacation time.
