Note : you call the police but you DON'T have her charged, you just have the report made up.
If she hits you, let her. Just stand there and let her hit you, she's angry and her hitting you is a way or releasing some ofthat.
Once she's hit you it may wake her up. Or her hitting you and you taking the hit and calling the police and ending with "I love you"
Show her you love her, but at the same time you show her you won't tolerate her BS.
By taking the hit, she can see you love her and will endure some pain, but by calling the police and having a report drawn up you are showing her you won't tolerate the pain either.
The site of seeing you there with a bloody lip at her hands and the police there questioning her on the event may just wake her up. Having police interrogate you and your husband standing there with a bloody lip is a VERY HARSH DOSE of reality for her, which is what she needs.
If you keep throwing reality at her it will likley have the desired effect.
Michele points out in DR that infidelity rarely ends without some damage first. Often addicts need to do a LOT of destructiion to their lives and the lives of their friends and family before they snap out of their delusional world.
She may just move out. The thing is, this is a reality wake up call. Yes, she may go to OM, but if she does that HE AND SHE get a dose of reality. That is, bills, money, living arrangements, all of that gets thrown at both of them full force.
I can give you a list of half a dozenthings that happened in my home that helped wake my wife up to her affair. When it first started she wouldnt even USE the word affair or infidelity. She just called it a "relationship" and he was "a friend". NOW she's reading books on affairs, how they mess up your head, and she's reading books on infidelity and marriage building. It takes a LOT of damage to wake them up sometimes.
Just think Jesus on the cross. That symbol is very poignant here. He endured immeasurable pain so that others would be freed. That wasnt' just his sacrifice, that was a message to others about what lasting love, meaningful love, true love really is.
She may think she's in love with him, and the OM there may think he's in love with her, but they both are clueless.
Its a tough callhow your wife would react to your moving in. But the thing is it will SHOCK her, and that is what a 180 is for. She's in a stupor from her affair right now. YOU doing SHOCKING things is what will wake her up oftentimes. Particularly if heavy doses of reality and damage is involved.
