The book thing.....perhaps it was a test to see if you would actually do it? If so, you prolly scored points.
I'm not even going to get in on the discussion of nerds vs. geeks....I work with computers/IT stuff for a living, so yeah.....um.....people already think I'm a geek/nerd by default.
Me: 30 W: 27 Married: 9/2007 ILUBNILWU: 1/2008 W moved out 5/24/2008 W suicide 8/25/2009
Neil, I don't think the book thing was necessarily a test, but rather once the books are purchased and in the home(s), it's another step down a really scary path. So, what I'm trying to say is if she's having doubts about S or D, this is a good thing! Your baby steps this week are encouraging! Keep up the PMA, I'll look for your new thread when this one locks. Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
thanks guys. the books are, well, whatever. Time for me to read about her other LL........"recieving gifts"...i need some innovative ideas...LOL....
Goldy...... been babystepping since july 7.......we've come from a 0 on the relationship scale to a 3 in 4 weeks.....i'm starting to finally get stuff....LOL...took me a month of getting here to get it....just want to remember it.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Hey Neil, If you've been with the woman for 13 years, you probably know more about her LL than you give yourself credit for. Think about the woman you knew before you had children.
What type of music does she like? A CD of something that she can relax to would be good. Something the kids make for her? How about a pretty pot and let the girls pick out some flowers for her deck/porch? How about a balloon filled with helium...small things that the kids can give her, rotated with little surprises from you. That might take some of the pressure off.
Can you make cookies or how about rice crispie treats witht the girls? A wind chime? Squirt guns, a bottle of bubbles, a pretty scarf, a bright umbrella, practicle stuff that isn't too personal. Save the pretty lingerie for when you get to step 8 on your scale.
Have faith that you will get there.
Make them little things....
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Perfect. Despite what anyone said here about the books, this should have been your attitude from the start. At least something similar so that you don't make it a bigger deal than it needs to be.
Still not sure about the reception of gifts, even if it is a LL. Seems she isn't able to be receptive enough yet.
Me: 30 W: 27 Married: 9/2007 ILUBNILWU: 1/2008 W moved out 5/24/2008 W suicide 8/25/2009
