just a refresher, i don't want this letter to go away just yet [quote]W, I want you to know that I'm writing this with no expectations. I don't expect you to respond to this. I wanted to take the chance to tell you what has been on my heart lately. First off, I need to apologize to you. I respectfully and sincerely apologize for hurting you in any way, shape or form. My intent was never to hurt you ever. I was not the husband to you that you deserved. How I went from being the guy I was when we met, to the guy I turned into, I am not sure. A lot of withheld emotion is what I think. I was always the type to hold all emotions in until the boiling point. When my dad died, I held it all in, and never really got in touch with those feelings until I was in my 20's. I know this is no excuse for my actions and I take full responsibility for the man I was.
In the past 2 months, I have gone and revealed myself to people like never before. The anger that controlled me for so long has gone away. I’ve been able to step back from it and see my life in a clearer light. How could I possibly be angry when I have such a great wife, dogs, cats, family, job and friends (save a few)? Life is way too short to be angry.
I now see that I was often dishonest with you and took advantage of you. That was selfish, and I understand why you are angry, and I don't blame you for being angry for even a moment. I wasn't aware that whatever I did, would affect the both of us and had I done so, I could have seen that you loved me regardless.
You supported me, and never held me back. I should have done a better job at supporting your endeavors. I know how hard you work and how much you wanted your business. I am very, very proud of you.
You were my heart and soul for 4 years. I enjoyed traveling with you, living with you, and loving you. You taught me a lot about things I never knew. You showed me new places and introduced me to new people, and I am so appreciative of that.
I am a better person for having shared my life with you. I am working on continuing to better myself. I have "me" until the end of time, and if I am not happy with myself, I will never be truly happy. Going to the gym and doing yoga is something I should have started long ago. It completely takes all the stress out of my day and translates into positive energy. I have gotten out any dishonesty from my past. Nothing but the truth from now on.
