I didn't jump in because I was not in the same room when it started, actually I wasn't in the same room for any part of it. It involved the agreement between the two of them about what he was responsible for this summer, so it really wasn't a place for me to stick my nose in. Also, more than once, she has asked me to stay out of that kind of discussion between her and the kids. She feels she can handle it, and she also doesn't think the kids need to be ganged up on. She did talk about it later, and I validated her position. So I did support her, just not at the time.
Anyway, I don't have a lot of time, but we did end up having something of a discussion. Short version, I hope, I need to get back to work....
I was getting ready to work outside, in preparation for having the trailer to take stuff to the dump tomorrow. I asked what she would like me to do, and she said get the big stuff. I really didn't know what she was thinking, so I lind of looked at her, expecting her to continue. She said don't look at me like I'm a stupid idiot, if you don't know what I mean, ask me. So, I said, what do you mean. So then she rolled her eyes, and said something like, "How can you not know what I mean?" I clevery jumped in with, "So you can look at me like I'm a stupid idiot?" To which she said, "Can I have a divorce?" To which I said, "Yes." Which led to discussion on her part as to the financial impossibility, I said I though it could be done. She said how, I said let me figure it out. Then came more $ discussion, and her finally (I think) believing me when I said that the situation was improving. That in a year we could pay to have someone do this yard stuff, just not yet. So she said, can I take the kids to Disney? (One of her friends is going, with her LD daughter, and W wants to go. In October, I think. I said, yes, and she started to cry! So, then I asked if she wanted to work in the M. She said she was too busy working on being a nurse, and a Mom. I said "ever?" She said, "I don't know." She thinks we are too different, not right or wrong, just different. She can't live the way that I am ok with, and she says that I can't change that just for her. She said that it won't be a failure. We'd accomplished a lot getting this far, and the kids were good, and had a safe place to live. (Or something like that.)
So, I don't know where that is all leading. But, it certainly opened the door for more discussion. Now it won't be out of the blue, anyway. I think I will figure out a financial "proposal", so that she knows that she isn't trapped. (I think she thinks she is.)
I don't know what it all means, but there it is. My C was on vacation this week, I see her Tuesday.
