Love is Patient

[ba065]

H is supposedly moving out tonight after we get home from work. He snapped again on Thursday but the big "decision" was made last night after midnight.

I've made it through most of the day today without crying. I'm trying to muster up the courage to go home and watch him leave without crying or causing a scene. I just want some peace and happiness back in my life...whether his leaving will eventually bring that, IDK? Do I want it? No. Can I stop it? No.

I'm stronger than I was a year ago. I'm emotionally drained, disheartened, sad... H shows no emotion whatsoever...says he is empty inside. How interesting that someone so empty is so full of anger, resentment, sadness, hatred, anymosity...

Oh, but his good news to me today was that he is talking to someone in CA about a new job...

Great! I'm so happy for him. He got his degree in June...is leaving his W in August and possibly getting to move to a new place and start a new life with a new job! That's wonderful for him....sounds like everything is falling in to place! Too bad our families and children no nothing at this point....but that's going to fall on my shoulders I'm sure. This is all my fault anyway.

What a crock of S$^%.

BA