Completely and utterly devastated--how to cope

[istherehope]

JJ,

Always nice to hear from you :). In case you didn't see my other thread, I did think I aced it at the counseling session today, even if I hated hearing what H had to say to me. I also did not particularly like the counselor's style, who seemed really gung-ho on the separation, and even suggested that we limit contact. He kept asking H why he had stayed in the relationship...I feel like he would push H into leaving the marriage were we to continue seeing him on a long-term basis.

BTW on the Facebook thing, he seems to keep changing his profile. I've been obsessively checking, and 50% of the time it looks normal, 50% of the time it's limited.

Working on the control thing...I've made a few mistakes today, but overall I think I've been good-to the point of admitting being overly controlling in the counseling session. Of course I subsequently sent an email about going to a counseling session at the Boulder DB center, but to be fair, I was told I need to reserve soon if I want to choose dates in the near future and he has said he wasn't opposed to the idea...

Anyway we have lunch tomorrow, so I'll post back on how it goes. I feel pretty good about it given how I held up in counseling. The trick is going to be to find things to chat about that are not related to the situation...

You're so right about the raw and heightened emotions on my side anyway. It's just that it seems as though H has no emotions. Today in counseling he was asked how he felt about seeing me every 2 weeks, and he said he had no opinion right now, that he couldn't imagine that he would dislike it, but he didn't know if it would make him happy. He seems so dead inside, and this is even how he describes himself...Was your H like that as well?

Thanks!
ITH