I told him how I felt a couple months ago.(May maybe?) It isn't something we've talked about recently.
I am not into the whole "visiting" thing. As much as I love seeing him, I hatehim coming to visit. I work at a college, in a dept where I deal w/tons of people all day. At the end of the day, I want to relax and not be "on". When he's here, I feel like I have to entertain him. I did talk about that w/him a few weeks ago and he said that was silly that I could go about my business even if he was here. Yeah right, like sticking my nose in a book after we eat is really going to cut it.
I hate talking about our life a year from now, I want to figure out our path to get there together now, not just assume that I'm going to live by myself for a year and then just magically move away with him and be able to live together again.
I did ask him about a month ago if he would be willing to go back to our C's w/me. He said he wasn't against it, but felt it was a waste of money since we were figuring out how to communicate, and were able to start talking about the hard stuff without melt downs etc. He's right to a point, we are figuring out how to talk about the deep crap, EXCEPT for how I am really feeling about him and our R at the moment. I think I am going to ask him to go to at least 2 sessions with me because I need someone to help us with this I think. My anger isn't fleeting like it used to be. I see him coming around to wanting this R and our family again and it's ticking me off. I think having someone else help us through this, or more specifically me, might be a good thing.
First things first. We need to have that sit down, honest talk about both of our intentions and direction. D17 leaves at noon on Monday, that evening or the next might be the time to do it.
