I completely understand where you are coming from with wanting to tell your H to take a flying leap. Although my H is not quite as receptive, I am in the same boat. I am not sure what I want to do, I still love him, but am not sure I could ever trust him again.
I am glad S21 is going to rehab, and will pray that it works.
Question: have you told H about how you feel? Really just sat down to have a heart to heart?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..