Well, I have been busy busy busy, which is good. Away from the board for a while, found myself all the way on page 3!
My very best-est friend in the whole world was here this week and she helped my organize/redecorate my home office, which used to be S's room. It is a very small space and I just was having a hard time figuring out where to put everything so that it is functional. MUCH much better now!
Seems like there has been a lot of activity on the board in my absence. Not sure what it is/was all about, tho...I think there are a couple of issues that I can address...
One: for the children. My kids were older when the marriage split up. They were old enough to understand the underlying issues that broke us apart. In my case it was being married to a man who was in many ways a good father, but his issues with long time (15+ years) infidelity and addiction make him a poor spouse. Our dynamic had developed into a very un-healthy one over the years, but in any case I DBed like a trooper, gave it my all, gave him many "chances" and "sat on the curb" like so many of us here. I threw myself into GAL and have been working HARD for these past 7 years (when I found out about one affair) to heal and re-discover my self. I have cordial relations w/ ex. However, I do much much better if I don't have to see him or deal with him in person. The kids have their relationship w/ him and just, last weekend took a trip with him to the Midwest to visit his side of the family. I have to say, the situation would be much different if the kids were younger. They are 20 and 22 now. Two: next relationship. Don't know about that one. Did have the short R w/CG. That taught me a lot about myself, as well as a lot to look out for. This dating is pretty interesting, but time consuming! I would like a guy somewhere in the middle of CG and the last date I had w/ the ex-Moonie. Someone who is aware of themselves and somewhat introspective and can take responsibility for their own happiness and part of the relationship...YET...does not get SO self-involved that they forget about me.
Not even sure at this point if I WANT to get married. As I have said before, when I married it was to create a family. I have my kids and that part of life is over. I may eventually meet someone who rocks my world so much and I rock his that marriage would be the only option...but at this point in time I am not that interested. Speaking of self-involved... I am going to write about something I have not addressed before on the board, but I know others have had experience with this so here goes.
I have been struggling with depression on and off my whole life. I know there are things I can do to help...and exercise/yoga help tremendously as do other things like being social, and therapy. However this summer it actually has hit me harder than ever before so I am going to try ADs. I will be writing about this to get feedback which should help me monitor the situation.
I am excited that this may give me the boost I need but at the same time I am a little nervous about side-effects. Not sure when I will actually start, but here is a little heads up.
I hope everyone has a GREAT Friday and GREAT weekend!
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
