I have very little experience with clinical depression, either in myself or those I know well, although what I'm battling in myself now feels like it could be. For myself, I think it's probably just a normal reaction to an ongoing bad situation. If my M improved, poof, the depression would be gone. So while I have been living depressed for a long time, I doubt it meets the standard of clinical depression (whatever that is).
In my W's case, though, I just don't know. At 1st, back in Feb, I thought the problem was a MLC. Later, of course, I found out about the A, but the MLC explanation still seemed to ring true in many ways. So now there's this depression, which just confuses things more. I don't know if the depression predated everything else, or followed later, when she found herself mired in what probably seemed (seems?) like a hopeless situation, with a Sophie's choice.
About the only personal experience I've had with this issue related to my sister. I recently found out that she went on Zoloft about 5 years ago related to all of the medical problems her premature twin sons had. She's never stopped taking the drug, though, and that seems wrong somehow. I don't know all the details, though, and she (understandably) doesn't discuss it much.
I don't know if I should suggest that my W see a shrink about her depression. Once upon a time (maybe in March) she told me that while she would not be open to seeing a MC, she might be willing to see a shrink to discuss her own "issues". I'm concerned that my W might think I'm just going for the quick fix, though (i.e., in a selfish way, as if getting her medicated will solve all of our R problems).
Actually, my W told me last night that she had had a dream yesterday morning (in the last hour of sleep between the time I kissed her goodbye and when she had to get up herself) that she seen her grandmother (who died about 2 years ago) and her mother (with whom she is currently estranged). In the dream, their appearance was as it was 20 or 25 years ago, and she was able to hug them and enjoy the moment with them. She said that she had felt happier all day long as a result of this dream (whatever works, I guess!). I doubt if those good feelings will last long, but it did seem significant that her feelings were so closely related to her mother and grandmother.
I'm taking tomorrow off for our "anniversery", and I want the day to go well. So, I'll avoid R talk and try not to have many expectations regarding how she acts toward me and what she writes in her card. Before all this latest crap I was looking forward to this day and thinking it would be very happy, as we basked in our re-found love for each other. My expectations are much lower now. Now all I can hope for is that it's a good day and a nice date.
