Quoting sage: Brian -- The above part in blue is an ASSumption on your part, right? I'm ASSuming that you've made some "logical" leap of thinking...I love w, w doesn't feel loved therefore she must not value my love????
Yes, it's an assumption. I guess I couldn't think of any other reason. I mean, as I'm sure you can imagine, I did everything I could think of to show her how much I loved her. Not just physically, and with words, but also by doing things like cleaning the house, softening my approach with the children, arranging dates, etc. It's a long list. On the one hand, if her son chooses to live with her, she'll "feel" that as being loved, but on the other, all these things I've done she evidently doesn't feel as love. Hey darlin, I didn't make all these changes just to get into your jeans!
Quote: I can only relate this to my own sitch but I can relate to w's reaction here and let me say that the hole that your w feels is likely MUCH MORE LIKELY to be a result of some childhood, family issues than her value for your love. OK, I said that a bit assertively...let me say it differently...my inability to feel "loved" despite my h's love for me has NOTHING to do with the worth of his love and EVERYTHING to do with wounds that I'm still trying to heal from way back when. Is it possible that the same (or similar) is true for your w????
OK, I hadn't thought of that at all. I guess I had a pretty wonderful childhood and don't have many issues related to it, so I never think of such explanations. I guess it's possible that there is something there (her childhood was not as happy as mine), but I don't know. It's hard not to take it personally when she says that she doesn't feel loved.
