Recommitment issues, post affair

[sage]

The thing is, though, that there is very little that I could have done over the last 7 months to make her feel more loved by me than I did. Physically, with lots of affectionate touching, with words, with various acts of kindness, etc. I mean, I may have stumbled once or twice, but there is no way that she could not feel loved by me. So it's not that she doesn't know that I love her, it's that she doesn't value it. She doesn't love me much, so she doesn't place a high value on the love I give her. If she did, she wouldn't be so depressed. I mean, for me, everyone in the world could reject me and I would still feel OK, as long as my W and children loved me.

Brian -- The above part in blue is an ASSumption on your part, right? I'm ASSuming that you've made some "logical" leap of thinking...I love w, w doesn't feel loved therefore she must not value my love????

I can only relate this to my own sitch but I can relate to w's reaction here and let me say that the hole that your w feels is likely MUCH MORE LIKELY to be a result of some childhood, family issues than her value for your love. OK, I said that a bit assertively...let me say it differently...my inability to feel "loved" despite my h's love for me has NOTHING to do with the worth of his love and EVERYTHING to do with wounds that I'm still trying to heal from way back when. Is it possible that the same (or similar) is true for your w????

Sage