Bring on the Rain - Part 4

[ALL6785]

Sue,
PR is 40 miles East of Callaway, small world. There are lots of nice vacation spots arround PR. How long has it been since your grandparents owned the resort?

[SueS]

Hi everyone!

Gosh, thank you, thank you, thank you. You all mean so much to me!!

I'm sitting in the hotel room/suite that my family rented for the weekend. With H's help moving so much over the weekend, we were out and done moving me in to the new place by noon. Whew! Now just a lot of work to put things together.

H offered to help move the last few heavy things. He did help. On the way back to pick up a load, the topic on the radio was about divorce. I changed it. He asked why. I said that today wasn't the day that I wanted to listen to that. He said, Sue, I thought today would be the happiest day of your life...well, the second happiest (after D4's birth). I asked why he'd say that. His response...because your rid of me. I didn't say anything. When H got ready to leave for work, he grabbed D4 to say good-bye. He was crying. No, he has not sat with me to talk to D4. We thought that this weekend will be so busy with my family here that we'll do it on Sunday when he comes over. H gave my mom a hug and told her thank you for her help. He also shook my dad's hand and thanked him. And....thanked the others there. I walked to his car with him. I said, H, thank you. I'll talk to you soon. I also said H, I want you to know that this is not the happiest day of my life....in fact, it's one of the most difficult days I've had. He wouldn't look at me. I stepped back, he shut his door and drove away. He called later in the day to make sure we got everything moved.

Today was tough. I talked to a good friend last night before I left work. She hugged me and I started crying. She said, Sue, I want to say some things....
-The next few days will be very hard.
-This is the hardest thing you've ever had to do.
-This is also the strongest thing you've ever done.
-After everyone is gone, you'll have lonely times.
-I want you to promise me that you call me when those days get lonely.
-I want you to promise me you'll ask me to come over even if it's just to sit in silence with you.
-I want you to know that you'll be okay.

Well, I really need to go. The family is all chatting and I need to get to them.

Thanks again everyone!

SueS

[SueS]

ALL6785-

Sorry, I didn't respond. My grandparents owned that resort YEARS ago. They owned it when I was around 2. However, I think it's still there and still called Sleeping Fawn. My parents want to get together next summer up near PR. before one of my nieces goes to college. I'll hang around here if you do! Maybe we could all meet then too if we don't get it done sooner!

Thanks- Sue

[SweetRedd]

Sue,

HUGGGGGS.. I'm glad you're family is there with you this weekend. Try to get lots of rest and snuggles from D4. You are sooo brave!

Sheila

[NoCodeBlues]

(((((Sue))))))

At first it will be very hard. You will cry, a lot. But you will make it.

And yes, there will be some loneliness. But we are always here, Jr. You're never alone. Most importantly, God is there for you as well.

Blessings.

[LL44]

HUGS to Sue, in her new place.

H cried the night I kicked him out (a year ago, after he confessed) when he hugged the girls. It broke me. Made me so sad. Your H has a lot of regret, he just can't process it.

Your friend that said those things to you is very very smart.

[Sara]

Sue,

i am so happy to hear about your friend. She sounds wonderful. i know you will enjoy the times that you spend with her.

[Rob1231]

Hi Sue,

That's really sad about H - but I hope you see that the "happiest day of your life" baloney is just one more example of It's All About Him Syndrome. I truly wish he would get a clue, a Really Major Clue, and turn himself around to be the happy, worthwhile person he could be. In the meantime, remember, his feeling regret is not the same as him changing his ways.

We're all very proud of how you've handled yourself during this very tough week. You are strong and wonderful, and it is going to get better soon for both you and D4. (((((Sue)))))

[Startingover2]

I just wanted to let you know I have followed your sich for awhile. My H is an alcoholic too and that throws alot more mental anguish and chaos into the mix as well. My H just got his second DUI about a month ago too.

I finally kicked him out last weekend after finding that he was talking with OW right in my own living room. We have a 4 month old daughter together and thought we were working things out.

Standing behind an alcoholic who refuses to get help is a no win situation. They are self proclaimed victims and leave disaster in their wakes.

I would love your (and anyone else's) input on my sich too.

Hang in there. You are so strong and you and your D4 will be great!

[kat727]

Sue, I don't know if this will help you feel better, my H got a DUI 4 years ago, license was suspended for a month- I drove him everywhere. H said he was drinking because of me. He had to take classes( he also did a diversion) and when I say anything about him taking a drink now, even in passing, he gets all defensive and says he has learned how much he can drink and still drive. The answer should be none!!

Not sure that my H is an alcoholic. He has just been a social drinker to the best of my knowledge. If he hasn't learned a lesson, at least his kids did.

Until they confront the demon and conquer it, the demon will still live.

kat