Question: does she not like the music at all? Or just the church stuff? Is there some kind of "middle ground" where you could still do something that you OBVIOUSLY ENJOY, and she would not have the religious/other objections to it?
No, she thinks it's a complete waste of time. I should be making money all the time, like her dad. I don't think that guy even has hobbies. She also thinks I shouldn't be "in the spotlight" in any way. Maybe she's right, and I'm open to that.
I'm also worried that she won't like that I got an iPhone. Screw it. She's spent an unbelievable amount of money since we S, and I can't buy a phone?
Originally Posted By: MichelleLT
Oh, and re the text. Did you ask her if she wants to do something that day? It seems like she is feeling you out or trying to drop a hint that she hasn't forgotten and maybe wants to celebrate?
Great advice. My response: "I know. Crazy, isn't it?"
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Hey (((Jon))) 'splain to me 'bout the music cuz I am lost Dude...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Your anniversary is coming up and she's living with her parents. Of course she's upset. None of this is how she planned. She is confused and sad and angry and frustrated.
Even if you don't go to church and play, don't give up practicing at home. It is too much fun to give up. She will have to adjust her ideas about hobbies at some point because no one can work 24/7 and be happy. There is that whole concept of work/life balance and all lol.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Lola, When we got married, I was in a band with my brother. We played some church stuff, and also some clubs, etc. W always felt threatened by it. Her family was down on it from the beginning. They also didn't like me getting my Masters. None of them have one, so of course it's worthless. So, not only was I not this big career guy, I also was wasting my time playing music. But dangit, that's a big part of who I am, and she married me knowing that.
Michelle, I hear ya. I have some projects and recording I can do wtihout "being in the spotlight" and prideful. The problem is, W knows me too well, and there's some truth to that. Why is it so hard for me to give it up for a little while, like maninmotion (and other friends of mine) suggested?
I have another C appointment in half an hour, should be good. I was feeling so good until this week, now just worn down.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
God Bless you Jon. I've run into conflicts over music too. I am not particularly talented. Rather, I have a mediocre ear for music. I can carry a tune and well, but, I don't have a perfect ear for pitch so I have to work harder at singing. W is very talented musically. She played violin in a couple of different non-school orchestras while in HS and went to college on music scholarship, but, didn't finish. W joined choir first and then I did. I learned a lot and enjoyed it thoroughly. As male choral singers are relatively more rare, I was asked to sing with the ensemble. That really burned W up. She felt that I was taking away from her thing by being in choir and she was extra crispy about my being asked to sing with the ensemble and as much as she wanted that for herself, they never asked her to sing there. I ran into a similar dynamic after buying her a really nice camera. I looked at it like a cool new toy. She saw my attention there as another attempt to steal her glory. So, no sing right now for either of us and no camera for me. But, I'm going to learn to play bass guitar and if she doesn't like it, she can lump it :P
Jon, there are things that have been part of me for a long time that I would have trouble giving up for W. I'm sure that you will find a way for a time to put that down.
I don't know, Jon, I think having a love of music is a good thing. I can understand you wanting to give something up, but are you absolutely sure you want to give up something you obviously love so much?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I haven't put a time-frame on it. For the next few weeks I feel like I need to focus on W. Something has changed this week, I can feel it, but it's hard to explain. So, just playing it by ear for now, LOL.
After I tried to call W, a text "I don't want to talk about it. I'm in fantasy mode from now until Sunday" Me: "Sounds good, can't wait to see you." W: "likewise!"
I really wanted to respond: "OK, so you don't want to talk about it? Why the hell did you bring it up? And you've been in fantasy mode for almost a year now." Dang !@#!@%# PMS-y women! OK, rant over. Have a good weekend everyone! I'm nervous about mine, but W and I always seem to have a good time. Which doesn't fit her view of me right now, and I like that.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
(((Jon))) I understand where you are coming from...and I hope you have a great weekend!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
