Hi Brian, Oh man! Does that echo where I've been since last spring sans the confrontation and ultimatum. There's a part of me that wishes I had the backbone to lay it on the line like that, but when I ask myself will it work, I get the sense that she's looking for me to push her out. So I wonder what good is it to do her bidding?
I like talitsa's concept of compartmentalizing the visits with OG. It seems to fit well. They just don't seem to recognize how it affects everything outside the compartment when they are standing within. What also becomes a greater problem is when they start to yearn to spend more time inside that compartment. Its like an addiction and to break the addiction there is bound to be the affects of withdrawal. How long does it take to cleanse the heart and mind of the yearning?
... And I'm still dealing with those thoughts of doom too. How long does that last? Since it seems unrealistic to think our spouses will actually forget about OP, I'm guessing until we receive some form of confirmation that our spouses will no longer act upon any thoughts of OP, we will continue to have a difficult time in trusting their feelings for us and letting go of that inpending feeling of doom.
Brian, as many have already have chimed in, you're in good company with the thoughts and feelings you are dealing with ... and like the rest of us here, you are using what is thrown your way to learn how to come out on top knowing you handled it the best way you could. If you gain that kind of contentment, then you have learned to use DBing succesfully and that's valued wisdom we all wish to share in.
