Can you tell us, what is your motivation to diet? Do you just feel "squishy" to yourself and want to lose a few? Do you have clothes that don't fit? Want to look better in a swim suit for summer?
I am hoping to help encourage you if possible - but to start - it is always necessary to know what our real motivation is for losing the weight. If the motivation is not properly "strong" enough, it just will not work. That is why I am asking...
No squishy... I dont really get squishy chubby I just look a little too curves gone wild...
I dunno just to look more fit and so that clothes hang nicer. I am 5 '4" and a size 10 very from fitting and 12 fits in the booty and too big around the waist.
I just would like to be a little smaller more streamlined curves... does that makes sense?
I liked how clothes fit me with the bomb diet. I was down to an 8 almost a 6~ that was 17 lbs ago.
I hope you can help... I have been to weight watchers and it helped tremendously... I should just go back there ? I used to love my Yoga class...
OK sweetie, I was just trying to ascertain your motivation...so to be honest (don't take it bad at all) it doesn't sound like your motivation will be enough to make it happen. But take heart! All you have to do is GARNER the motivation.
Sometimes we need an event to spark the motivation....like for me right now, my motivation is that I am getting married in the caribean islands in February 2009.
In the past I have had other motivation such as a new boyfriend or lover was going to see me naked for the first time and "oh my goodness, I am NOT going to get naked looking like THIS!" LOL! I am sure you can relate to that one. Gosh its hard getting naked with someone new! hahahahah!
Anyway, because I know you are secure with yourself, you are hot, size 10 is just FINE and sweet (not overweight at all)...then sweetie, maybe no diet is necessary at this time. Just enjoy your booty-licious self!
But if you do get the motivation somehow...going on a cruise or some reason in the future that will provide a goal...then it is always so much easier to get on a plan and stick to it. If you get there, let me know and I do have a few tips and tricks!
Ok .. I am waivering .... my H needs me to be positive cause he is going thru persnal hell right now,, his Family of origin ( he just told them all off 2 days ago after years of them taking advantage of him ) and work.
I am trying like hell to have PMA~ and not take anything personal.. yesterday he even said to me ... I wasnt going to tell you ( the falling out fight over the phone) but I am going to now...
and then he had to go ( his boss called ) so we never finished. Is this a man thing or just my hubby? He tends to keep his Family disagreements to himself.. and then I am somehow Miraculously supposed to knwo he is upset about that and not take on any of his negativity...
Do I even make sense.... I am going to try like hell to be positive but at present it seems impossible.
I told him for years his Family was using him and then after years of fighting about them I just threw my arms up and gave up.
It was all about $...
YUCK!
~Ali
Any thoughts?????????????? Male translation please? What to do? Help....
Ali - It may be he has that "blood is thicker than water" attitude about his family. You know, family is family no matter what. You stick with them through thick and thin. Maybe he doesn't want to share the problems with you because he doesn't want to hear your "tough love" answers.
Stopping enabling someone (taking the money away) doesn't mean you don't love them. If you are doing it out of love because it is what is best for them. Once they are standing on their own two feet again they realize it was out of love.
I hope he can one day see he's not doing them any favors.
Stopping enabling someone (taking the money away) doesn't mean you don't love them.
This is what I tried to tell him for years.... Oh and the part I must have left out is he told them he never wants to talk to them again as ling as he lives.. cause they took advavtage of him.
So yesterday he told me that he feels that way about everyone ... me included ( didnt say it exactly to me but I sort of got that between the lines... I felt so offended. And at the same time so calm.... I thought to myself .. his loss if he thinks I am that way. I KNOW I am not....
Funny I have never been and never will be a money grubber. I love to work as a matter of fact and I respect him far too much to steal from him, or over spend. When I was single I never let a Man buy me a drink. I am babbling... thanks Cinco.... Amazingly I am sad but I feel strong....
I was weak before and stood by him and watched while his FOO sucked him dry and now I will remain strong but at the same time I feel some resentmet towards them . He isnt strond enough yet to see what I am and who I am and what I have put up with all in the name of love.
Example ... he would send 10 thousand dollars to FOO... and I would be at Garage sales and clipping coupons and had to account for every dollar spent... he would give me $.... I felt like a loser , or like a little kid.
Now since he stopped talking to them since he came home in March.( I guess he had a slight falling out back then)
HE GIVES ME THE CHECKS AND I HANDLE ALL THE MONEY...
If I even made sense Cinco.... what do you think? ~Ali
Wow.... he must really have some guilty feelings right now about his FOO if he won't talk to them anymore. He probably is feeling really used right now too. And maybe even a feeling little foolish for being used for so long.
Definitely DO NOT give him the "I told you so" speech. Just comfort him right now, you may not even need any words to do this. He will see you as his support once he gets over the anguish of cutting them off and has some time to let it settle in his mind.
5 is giving good advice here. Avoid all self righteous I told you so expressions or attitudes. He knows you were right and right for a while. After he processes the emotional garbage from his family, he will admit it directly to you. Only so much a guy will deal with at a time...
The check book is a HUGE deal. He knows he can trust you.
Ali, I only read a couple of your posts on the first page of this thread. They brought tears to my eyes and I couldn't read anymore. I can only dream of turning my M around as you have. Well done. you are truely inspiring.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
