Quoting talitsa:It also sounds like you are now doubting your own perceptions and judgment (i.e. you thought things were improving greatly, but now think it was all a "lie".)
I would tend to disagree. I am not at all condoning your wife's behaviour, but it also doesn't sound to me like she is insincere about her love for you and desire to work on your M. It sounds to me like she is operating in some duality of thinking, compartmentalizing the visits with OG, and not seeing that it could or would have any affect on you or your M.
This is sort of how my W says it is. It's almost like she would be perfectly happy leading a complete double life, wouldn't be conflicted by it. I read about such a case just about a week ago, in which a guy had a double life with 2 wives, neither of who knew about the other until he died.
Quote: BTW, how DID you explain what you found out to your W?
She asked, but I refused to answer. I told her that the only reason she would need to know the answer to that was so that she could do a better job of hiding the evidence, and she backed off. She's probably already figured out that it's the computer anyway.
Quote: OG lied to you of course, but have you considered that he lied to try to protect your relationship with her rather than trying to protect his relationship with her?
I understand your fear that OG may sabotage you now that you've clearly drawn your line in the sand. I think it's far more likely that he may panic that take advantage of the situation. Remember the fantasy aspect of A's. Do you honestly think he wants her showing up at his door one day with 2 kids and expecting him to step up to the plate because he contributed to causing your M to end? I highly doubt it, he'd probably turn tail and RUN.
That's an interesting take. He did offer to back off immediately, even before I asked him to, which I found a little surprising.
Quote: As sad as I am for you, I don't think you're failing at DBing or should give up hope.
