First of all, I continue to be astounded by the parallels in our stories. For your sake, I hope you will be encouraged by mine, which although it has taken many bad turns, continues to become more and more hopeful with each passing month.
I share your frustration at the continued contact between OM and W. I also finally gave my W an ultimatum about continued contact, and I believe the ultimatum was a sort of 180 on my part. Perhaps it will be for you too. Read Smoochie's threads and you will see that sometimes your accomodation of your W's behavior is not what you want to do in your DB efforts. Remember, do more of what works and don't do less of what doesn't. Your situation is unique, and whether or not an ultimatum works for you depends on you and your W. There is no pat answer to whether snooping and ultimatums work. If your W is pushing you to test your limits (sort of a very sick love test), then "laying down the law", so to speak, may actually be the 180 you need. It's up to you to decide. Personally, I identified very much with the story in DR of the man who continually let his W step all over him. In finally standing up for himself, he found the 180 that worked for him. I hope that your ultimatum will work for you. So far, it has for me.
Quote: Today, I still have that feeling of doom, but I'm functioning. I guess there's nothing to do but take it day by day. I haven't given up all hope. I suppose there's still a chance for us. I won't change back into the bad habits I had before February. But I don't know that there's anything more I can do, but hope that she demonstrates some character and lives up to her promises. Wish I had a little more faith in that.
Welcome to my world! Things are looking up, however, in that department. Look for a new post on my sluggish piecing thread tommorrow or Monday for more info on that, though. You've done all you can do except watch, wait and continue with what you've been doing. It's time for your W to step up to the plate now.
