I'm still in love with W, despite all that's happened, including her suddenly dumping me 2x for OM - once 9 years ago and now again. Recently she's started seeking more contact with me.
My fear has been that my sitch now is so similar to 9 years ago that at some point she'll say she made a mistake and want to try again. I've been feeling like I would want that.
But reading your post helps me realize that she is not a loving and committed person. And never will be unless she really works on herself. I need to remember that as I rebuild my life.
It's hard because I love her so much, and I think she does care for me quite a bit. But she has issues and I need to see those for what they are and the potential they have to create misery. Not that I'm a saint, but I am committed and I'm willing to try hard. I don't think she knows how to do that.
So again, thanks for sharing your experience. It's helpful.
lodo
lodo,
I have so been there. I know how strong that love can be. The thing is I thought I loved her at the beginning. I had no idea how it would grow so deeply. My love for her grew daily. She would periodically ask, "After all these years, are you tired of me yet?" I would always honestly reply, "No. I love you more today than I did yesterday." I really think she never understood how deep my for her went.
I wish I could tell you what to do. The truth is my wish for you would ideally be that she goes to IC, she changes, agrees to MC, you rebuild your M and she is a loving and faithful wife. I wish she would value you and your M. That is the hopeless romantic in me.
The reality is with C, she will probably not change..... Even with C, she may not change.... You never really know...
I will pray for both of you.....
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
