Thanks for your words, and for sparing me the 2x4. Unfortunately, the snooping will intensify, and I may even resort to more extensive technologies such as automatic telephone call recorders or GPS tracking devices. Haven't decided on that yet.
The ultimatum was difficult to give, and it would be excruciating to follow through on. I can easily imagine a scenario where I catch her in contact with him again, and her begging me not to D her. It would be nearly impossible for me to make the final decision to break up the family. But the alternative would be to condone the A implicitly. Insisting that she ends all contact with him loses any meaning if all I ever do is cry about it for a few days and then return to status quo. And I just can't not snoop and continue DBing. Life can't just go on this way indefinitely. She's had time and chances to get over him and to decide what her real priorities in life are. If she can't stay away from him now, well, I'm not going to fight it any longer.
