You would be shaking up her world for one. Secondly, you would be taking a stand for your marriage. How often do you see your son now? Do you have legal protection set up for that? Let her move, make her uncomfortable.
Are you going to a counselor? You need to get out of this depresion.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
As Kat said, you will not be making your son move.. she will. Besides, you've already mentioned that you may have to sell the house. So your son will have to move anyway.
I know you're afraid, but take a risk. Do a 180. How do you know she's not bluffing about moving out? Or she might move out and realize how sucky it is and then actually want to come home and work on your marriage... anything could happen... but right now nothing is happening because you are allowing her to walk all over you!
I have failed to provide a little insight into my Wife. According to her family, throughout her life (and she's only 22) she when feels trapped, she gives up and runs away. I guarantee to all of you, whether this sounds like a classic case or not, that if I want her back, moving in and making her feel more trapped and trying to force her to be with me in a relationship or in a house will make her hate me and push her further away. If there is a way to get her back, it is not by making her miserable and not granting a divorce, or moving back in with her. I have to let her go; I have been trying to control this relationship. I know if I didn't want to be somewhere, and someone tried trapping me there, I would hate them and resent them even more. I am getting my name off the mortgage, she will have to pay me off, and I will let her go make her own mistakes with OM. If she comes back, she'll have to earn my trust. I don't see her coming back. I have listened to everyone's suggestions about how to make her life miserable for what she's done to me, and if you could ask her, she'd say I have succeeded. There is only one way to do a 180, and that is to stop standing in the way of what she THINKS she wants. I'm letting her go, granting a divorce; she can have the house. Once she buys me out, she won't be able to afford to stay there so we'll sell it. I'm cleaning my hands, cutting my losses. I wish my wife were the kind of WAS you speak of on these boards. The kind I could force into being with me. But that is selfish. But there's only one 180 to do here, something I haven't done yet. MOVE ON. do i even deserve to waste my time trying to win someone back that does this to me ? that spits in my face by having a man in our house ? No.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
It sounds like a cop-out, that its too hard for me. What kind of person does this to their spouse ? NOT ME. I appreciate all the advice from everyone. I tried being cold, I tried being nice, I tried detaching, I came across as uninterested. She THINKS she wants OM. we'll just see if she does. If I love her, I can't imprison her, trap her, force her to be mine and in my presence.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
