It got this way because you both let it get this way not because of you alone. You ask for help but don't want to listen. You won't be able to change anything until you do.
Take a breath. Move home and take your life back. See a dr for anti-depressants if need be, go to a counselor. Make a stand
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory