Well, I met with H and let him read my letter last night. It was very hard, I thought I was going to have a stroke. I think he read it 3 times before he put it down and just sat in silence. Absolute silence. He had tears that he kept fighting back and held my hand. I think he wanted to say something, but didn't or couldn't. I sat with him for 30 minutes and added some things that weren't in my letter. I ultimately told him that if and when he wanted to talk I would be here. I also told him that I know that he doesn't know what he wants, but if he chooses to work on us, I will do what it takes; if he chooses to end the marriage for whatever reason, I will still be here and do my best to handle this in a good way for our children.
I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I was there when he read the letter. It made me feel very strong. I think I've always been a strong woman, but over the past 2 years I've been so devastated and hurt, that I've lost touch with my strength.
I think I can focus and concentrate on me now.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
