JUST USED LRT-WHAT DO I DO NOW???

[Sanderika]

Hi all....

I have been posting here for about a month.

My sitch is spelled out in other posts.

After 35.5 months of standing, I delivered the call 2 days ago that I was going to file.

I learned thru that d*mn grapevine that my H and his OW were going to go on vacation together and are leaving today. They are going to a Motorcycle rally 2100 miles away.

I confronted H and he denied making plans to go on a vacation. I think H is lying.

When confronted about filing H said "do it, might as well, it's been 3 yrs and we might as well get it over with".

H and I talked for over an hour. H said he has feelings for me something he has denied by the way since 12/31/06. As far as loves me, H said that was a harder question to answer and I never got the answer to that. H admitted that we still have a huge connection to each other but I am not fun anymore as far as he is concerned and all he wants right now is fun. H said he doesn't want to marry the OW woman (twice).

H said he has seen my 360 degree changes and likes them very much but that he feels the "sanderika" he doesn't like is still just below the surface. Said he has come and gone in my life continuously over the past 35.5 months because he has been watching me carefully.

What is H thinking?????

I don't like what I did. Have I made a mistake??????

HELP ME PLEASE,

Sanderika